I chose this title though because someone recently wrote a comment on one of my social media posts that went something like “who wants to have a baby in this evil world?”. I can’t remember exactly as although I initially engaged with the writer of the comment it became clear that we would have to agree to disagree and then when she posted a similar comment again, I deleted all her comments.
I deleted the comments because I don’t feel it is fair to have someone sharing such views on a page in which many of the readers are desperate to have their longed for baby (be that their first, second or more).
So if that is the case why have I chosen to write about this subject now?
I am writing about this topic because I believe that whether or not someone is consciously wondering if they want to bring a child into this world at this time, it may be something they are subconsciously tuning in on.
This is important to be aware of because it is our subconscious processes that run our body and in very simplistic terms our body is set up at any given time based on how we feel.
This means that it doesn’t matter what is actually happening to you in your NOW (ie your actual present experience), what’s important is how you are emotionally reacting to what is happening to you or what you spend time thinking about in relation to your past and your future.
You may consciously want a baby but at the same time everything going on in your life, from the direct impact of your fertility struggle to the current bigger world issues such as the Coronavirus Pandemic and Black Lives Matters, will be generating upset at a subconscious level.
To your subconscious upset is an indicator that you are in danger (whether you are in real danger or not). When we are in danger, we move into what here at the Freedom Fertility Formula we call the Emergency State.
Here’s the really important thing I want you to be aware of regarding this.
When you are in an Emergency State your ability to get pregnant is compromised.
Let’s explore this more in the following example.
A top-quality egg and sperm have just had the perfect meet up (either naturally or through assisted methods). The reproductive processes of the woman hoping to become a mum are all geared up to welcome the newly fertilised egg into their new home and make sure that her baby is able to develop and grow.
Then suddenly out of nowhere a lion turns up. The woman’s body now doesn’t give two hoots about that fertilised egg anymore because unless she survives there won’t be any chance for the baby to develop and grow anyway. Instead, her body moves into an Emergency State to make sure that she can escape the danger.
Thankfully we are unlikely to come face to face with a lion unless we are visiting a zoo in which case the lions are caged, or on a game drive when as long as you follow the rules you are safe. However, because the body responds to how we are feeling irrespective of our actual reality it doesn’t know the difference between a real danger like the lion or any other kind of upset.
Even though we have been witness to a lot of death because of the Pandemic and we also know that black people are unnecessarily dying in cruel and unfair ways (not just because of police brutality, but we see it with medical care also with one such example being that more black women die in childbirth than white women), this doesn’t necessarily make us believe that our survival is at risk (speaking generally and personal circumstances aside).
The fact this is happening to others though is still incredibly upsetting and here the thing.
Any level of upset either nudges or shoves us into the Emergency State depending on how big that feeling of upset is. That includes all the ‘normal’ everyday stuff we deal with in life and all the additional stuff a difficult fertility journey brings.
Which in turn means any upset has the ability to compromise your chances of having your longed-for baby.
Taking care of your Emotional Well-Being, therefore, isn’t something fluffy, it is vital for your pregnancy success and your right to live your best life possible.
Coming back to the original reason that led me to write this blog post with someone making the “who wants to have a baby in this evil world” statement on the Freedom Fertility Formula Facebook page.