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(in)Fertility: Why controlling emotions is harmful

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By Dany Griffiths

Struggling to conceive is one of the hardest things a person has to face causing a huge emotional impact on their life.

How well a person is perceived as being able to handle that impact is often rated by how good they are at controlling their emotions.

What does being able to control your emotions mean to you?

Is it being able to put on a brave face when your best mate gives you her baby to hold, even though you are falling apart inside?

Is it still being able to show up professionally at work when your period has just started, signifying another month you are not pregnant?

Is it partying the night away determined to try and keep living your life, even though not being pregnant hits you like a ton of bricks as you wake up every morning?

Is it having a beer with the lads and joking how you are glad you are not tied down with kids like they are?

There are many examples like this of controlling emotions aren’t there?

But here’s the thing…

Controlling emotions isn’t good for your mental and emotional well-being and it is not good for your Fertility Success¹.

1You can read more about why that is here.

Controlling emotions just saves up pain for another day

When people control their emotions they do such things as; squash down their feelings rather than air them, use coping mechanisms to distract from their feelings, and ignore their feelings by switching to a positive interpretation of their situation too quickly, or worse fake being positive.

The problem is we don’t obtain emotional control by trying to keep the more difficult emotions in check or by merely looking for ways to just flip them into a positive. All we are doing in these scenarios is controlling how we feel, which means squashing down our difficult emotions and leaving them to fester, ready to return even more vehemently on another day.

Controlling emotions takes its toll

The energy involved in squashing difficult feelings down will eventually deplete a person’s ability to cope.  This can lead to seemingly small things ‘pushing them over the edge’ causing them to erupt like a volcano. To other people this can appear to happen for little reason, when in fact the excessive time spent in the ‘Emergency State’ has depleted their ability to cope. Eventually they become emotionally overloaded and they can’t keep a lid on their feelings anymore.

Some people may find that - what feels like out of no-where -  they can’t push on through anymore and they end up needing to emotionally withdraw for a while.

Living with (in)Fertility can feel like a constant need to keep your feelings under control, so how do you deal with that?

AND here’s the thing…

Controlling your emotions is not the same as feeling emotionally in control.

Feeling emotionally in control begins with recognising that there is no such thing as good and bad emotions and that all of our emotions are useful. They are useful because they power your internal Life Navigation System.

For our prehistoric ancestors the role of our internal  Life Navigation Systems was to guide us safely through life from a physical perspective. In our modern times our internal Life Navigation System now also needs to ensure the safety of our mental and emotional well-being

To do this our internal Life Navigation System needs to support us in three distinct yet interconnecting ways::

  1. To guide us towards the next best action to take in our present.
  2. To highlight unhelpful learnings from the past.
  3. To help us plan with flexibility and fluidity for the future.

You need to know how to use your emotions though otherwise your internal Life Navigation System won’t be able to guide you in the best way.

How do you learn how to do that?

1. Working with a Freedom Fertility Formula™ Specialist

The best way to learn how to use your internal Life Navigation System is to work with a Freedom Fertility FormulaTM Specialist. I appreciate that this isn’t going to be possible for all, although it may well be more achievable than you think.

Therefore, it is worth going to our directory and contacting one of our Specialists and booking a discovery call with them.

2. By reading my book – “I just want to have a baby: a guide for your emotional well-being on your journey from Fertility Despair to Fertility Freedom”

You can purchase my book on Amazon.

3. By joining our Freedom Fertility Formula™ Emotional Well-Being Support Space Community

You can get started on your dynamic emotional healing and life empowerment journey for free by joining our  Freedom Fertility FormulaTM Emotional Well-Being Support Space Community.

This is what is waiting there for you:

  • Support from our team of Freedom Fertility FormulaTM Specialists.
  • A free online workshop to get your started on your Healing Journey.
  • A Vault of Training Sessions delivered by our Specialists on a variety of different topics.
  • Meeting others on their own Fertility Journey for you to connect and share with.

Come and join us, a big warm welcome and a virtual hug is waiting for you there.

If you are having to control your emotions just to get through each day that is not good for you and it is not good for your fertility.

Take action today and start your journey towards reclaiming the joy in life again.

It's time to stop 'Waiting to Live' and start 'Living in the Wait' in a way that also supoorts your chances of Fertlity Success.

You're not alone.

Dany Griffiths


If you would like to find out if working with Fertility Clients is right for you. Check out my Free Online Introductory Workshop for Becoming a Freedom Fertility FormulaTM Specialist.

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