What IVF Feels Like
What was your first thought when you saw this headline?
Did you start to read thinking that I was going to be sharing with you how IVF physically makes you feel?
In case you were looking for that then let me say that yes there can be uncomfortable physical sensations in your body. You are after-all messing with its normal way of doing things and much like us when we are thrown into a state of change it gets a little upset.
There are ways to help with the physical symptoms though which I will cover another time.
For now, I want to talk about the way IVF makes a woman feel emotionally. In fact, the way you feel emotionally affects how you experience things physically, but I will stick to purely focusing on the psychological impacts in this post.
Before I get on to specific feelings though let’s talk about the secrecy that goes on around IVF because I know from many of my clients, they often feel the need to turn to Double Agent like skills to hide what they are going through. Sometimes from everyone although they may have shared with a few very close friends and/or family. Often times they don’t want their employer and colleagues to know so that can create additional problems with regards to keeping IVF hidden.Keeping something a ‘secret’ brings with it some further additional emotional impacts and there are things that you can do to help with that. I have shared what they are HERE.
Back to this post, let’s explore some of the common feelings I find that come up for Freedom Fertility Formula clients.
Sadness – It is important to spend time healing the emotional wounds.
Although I’ve started with Sadness I often find that by the time my clients are going through IVF, Sadness has got buried underneath a mound of other emotions. It is incredibly sad though and your sadness doesn’t like being pushed away, it wants to help you.
Help me! I hear you say, how can Sadness help me?
In fact all of your emotions have a useful function to play in your life and by letting them do their job they can make your life easier. Whether that’s for life in general, helping you handle your fertility struggle or your journey through IVF.
The purpose of Sadness is to give you time to ‘HEAL’. In relation to IVF it is really useful to spend some time unpacking all of the feelings that you have around your fertility journey to date and what may come up throughout IVF, in order to heal the emotional wounds and lay down a strong foundation for your IVF Success.
Fear – Will it work or not?
Fear is right up there isn’t it? Of course it is, the whole point of doing IVF is to get your longed for baby.
The role of Fear is probably an obvious one and it is to keep you ‘SAFE’, and as we grow up we learn important lessons around the things that are dangerous to us don’t we? Like stopping at the roadside and checking for cars before we cross the road, and not putting our hand into an open fire.
These all make sense to us. However, here’s the really important thing you need to know about Fear in relation to your IVF Success.
The part of us that runs our body doesn’t know the difference between that kind of real danger and the Fear that comes from you worrying about your IVF Success. In fact, the constant stress that comes from your infertility struggle tells your body that you are in very real danger, all the time. The problem with this is that the last thing you would actually want if you were in very real physical danger would be to get pregnant because that would compromise your ability to keep yourself ‘SAFE’.
The way to let go of the Fear of whether your IVF treatment will work, is to appreciate that you can handle it if it doesn’t. This may feel a bit counter-intuitive though so please go and read THIS BLOG POST where I share why that is useful and how to do that.
Anxiety – What if it fails?
So, this is more of the same really, however Anxiety steps in when the fear really gets bad. Hopefully by reading this blog post and the other posts I refer to within it, we can avoid that happening for you. You see Anxiety is looking to help you find ‘CERTAINTY’.
Now you might be thinking I am never going to get ‘CERTAINTY’ around my IVF Success until I am holding that Positive Pregnancy test in my hands, which is potentially true. However, you can have ‘CERTAINTY’ when you know that you can handle anything that happens to you, so make sure you go and read the blog post I mentioned above. Here’s the link again to make that easy.
Anger – This is all so beeping unfair.
The truth is that it is. Maybe you are Angry at your body for ‘letting you down’, or the fact that you are having to do it in the first place and the cost (5 out of 6 people don’t have to pay so why should you?). Probably people who say stupid things like “just relax more it will all be alright”.
But we tend to squash Anger down don't we, because we are brought up believing it is some kind of evil beast? Here's the thing though, the role of Anger is to make sure that you are being treated ‘FAIRLY’ and in relation to you having to go through IVF you aren’t.
So, you want to make sure that you have a way to let that Anger go. Perhaps finding a physical outlet that works for you. Maybe screaming into a pillow, punching a punch bag, throwing a ball hard at the wall, or maybe writing out all your hurt feelings around the situation. The most important thing is to get that Anger out because you don’t want it squashed down inside of you festering. That’s not good for you and it’s not useful for your IVF Success either.
P'd off and Irritated – Which is not surprising is it?
The IVF process messes with your hormones and that’s quite enough to irritate you isn't it? With a shorter fuse than usual though, it's likely that other people are going to feel less tolerable than usual as well. They don't always understand that you can’t take up their invitations as you need to do your shots at the same time every night. Or that maybe you just don’t feel like going out because you are having to deal with the emotional impact of IVF. Or perhaps they try to compare the cost of IVF with something expensive they want - like anything can compare to wanting a baby. Grrrr!
To be fair most of the time people won't mean to wind you up, but on top of the fact that physically your body may be feeling irritated too, you are going to want to be kind to yourself and not worry about other peoples' feelings right now. Instead follow your feelings and take time out to do what is right for you and not what others think you should do.
It's TIME to UNPACK.
There are lots of different emotions that come up during Freedom Fertility Formula Coaching sessions and if you’ve been through IVF yourself then I am sure you can add in plenty more than the ones I’ve shared today.
The great news is that by allowing your feelings to function as they are meant to, you allow them to flow, which diminishes both the effect that they have on your life and the potential negative impact they may have on your IVF Success too.
Unpacking all of these feelings by yourself maybe hard and you may find it useful to work with a Freedom Fertility Coach to help you with that. If you do email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will hook you up with the Perfect Coach for you.
If you feel like you’ve got the strength to go it alone then check out my posts on ‘How to Survive the Emotional Stress of IVF’ and 'How to Double Your IVF Success Rate'. This will help with how you are feeling emotionally throughout your IVF treatment and it will also enhance your chances of IVF success.
Your Feelings matter way more than you might think as your progress through your IVF treatment, so make sure you take notice of them and they will take care of you.
Becoming a Fertility Coach
If you would like to find out if Fertility Coaching is right for you. Check out my Free Online Introductory Workshop for Becoming a Freedom Fertility Coach.