After a few recovery days from this painful fall I had to begin spinning my small thread again, much like a spider with a broken web undeterred and never giving up, I knew I couldn't give up trying again to be a mom.
I spun with a lot of love, a little of what I had left of hope, I added maca, folic acid, and other remedies, I learned that these things would help me to make my thread more resistant.
Unlike the spiders I didn’t undertake my spinning filled with patience, instead I spun with anxiety, fear and preoccupation, since I didn’t know if my body and heart would be able to bear another fall. Even though after 28 days I actually found out I had been able to survive the painful coup.
The moons passed, the seasons changed and I was exactly in the same dynamic of spinning my little thread held to my fertility, where my life was hanging as well as my hope of being happy. This was turned into a devastating life cycle.
One day as I begun spinning a light that was coming from a place above my fertility dazzled me, and started to make signals to me just as when someone is pointing to the sun intermittently. I understood quickly that it was a call for me, so when I went to hang my thread to my fertility I decided to take a look to understand where is the light coming from.
It was difficult to see where it was coming from, since all this light disoriented me, but after staring for a long time, I realised that it was coming from my heart, so I had the crazy idea to hang my thread from that place, anyway the nook where I had been holding it was very worn out since I had used it for a long time.
I was scared, since I thought that a fall from there may be so painful that I would end up broken in so many little pieces that couldn’t be joined.
Surprisingly instead I found a lot nice places where I could hang my thread, such as my dreams, my plans, all the things I love to do, my relationships and the love for my husband. There were so many beautiful things there that without realising my thread became like a beautiful spider web, it grew stronger every day, since it nourishes my soul and that helped me to have more resistant and brighter threads.
And as I still wanted to be a mother I also hang one of those threads from my fertility, but it was no longer a little thread isolated and weak, it was part of something bigger. It was so strong that when I again received the news: YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT, the spider web shuddered, but it helped prevent me from falling again into the harsh and cold pavement of despair and hopelessness.
The anxiety started to vanish, it only showed up once in a while, but as soon as I saw the light crossing though my spider web, and all the colours that appeared, I started to feel safe and happy, yes, Happy, since that spider web was my life, and my dream to become a mother was only a part of it.
The day came when I knew I was going to be a mother, and that complemented my big web, since I had reached another of my dreams, maybe the deepest one.
As a Fertility Coach and Freedom Fertility Formula Specialist I can help you to spin your own life web, built with your dreams, relationships, hobbies and all the things that makes you smile, since it will give you the strength during your fertility Journey. I will help you to create a plan to make your life web strong and beautiful, and help you to grow, transform and feel happy.
My name is Alexandra Ferro I’m a woman that lived and overcame infertility. As many woman in my generation I decided to give priority to my professional growth, my relationship with my husband, buy a house, travel around the world before having a family, only when I was 33 years old started my dream of become a mother.
In a period of 6 months I suffered 2 miscarriages, followed by a long period where every month I found out I was not pregnant. I had my heart broken since I was not able to accomplish this profound dream, I felt frustrated, scared and angry with the situation. Fortunately the feelings of hope and love where stronger to motivate me to plan a new strategy in my fertility journey, so I started to reflect how was I living my life, which habits were not useful for me and find a new path saying Yes to fertility.
I learned that infertility can make you feel lonely, lost and it is very important to have empathetic people to share what you are feeling. That is why this meaningful experience became a life mission for me, which was helping other women in their fertility Journey using coaching techniques so they can find the strategies and adjustments to have a baby.
I’m certificated as a Life coach in 2019, and currently working to get my certification as Freedom Fertility Formula Specialist.
You can connect with Alexandra here.
