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Feeling forced to step up in times of crisis can do you more harm than good


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By Dany Griffiths

Because of our current situation, there are calls to step up and grow now more than ever before. That’s not right for everyone though and in fact can be detrimental to your mental health and emotional well-being, by making you feel that you are not doing enough, or worse that you are not enough.
If you are feeling pressured by these messages I am here to tell you that there is a gentler way to ensure that you don't get pulled down by this crisis. I call myself the Queen of Spin, and you might ask Dany, what do you mean by that? And what I mean is this... I am always able to find something useful in any situation, no matter how tough it is. Do I learn and grow by doing this? Yes! Does it stop me from feeling pressured to Step up? Yes! Does thinking this way allow me to move at my own pace, and be respectful of my feelings at the same time? Yes! Has it changed my life to be able to think in this way? Yes! Because here’s the thing... I haven’t always been able to do this, and in the past I’ve been in the camp of controlling my feelings and toughing things out instead. I never dared share with anyone that I was struggling, and I’d constantly feel forced to Step up, when I didn’t really want to. Was this detrimental to my mental health and emotional well-being? YES!
Through trial and error I found a different way of responding to difficult experiences, and to save you time, I want to share with you the solution that I came up with.
You see, what I discovered is that all my difficult feelings want to do is guide me towards the next best step to take. Once I’d taken action on that guidance those difficult feelings would then simply dissipate. It was through this discovery that I created the 4A process and what I want you to know is that when the 4A process is implemented correctly, it can literally change how you live your life. If that’s got you thinking come on Dany tell me how to do this, then read on as I am about to take you through step by step how it works...
First you have to become aware of exactly what you are feeling? How we respond to what is happening to us is often multi-layered when it comes to what we are actually feeling. So it is important to list out every feeling that is showing up for you in any difficult situation. Once you have done this, you will want to use the rest of the 4A process for each of these feelings.
All of your feelings are there to guide you towards the next best step to take. You will want to acknowledge that by thanking the feeling(s) for wanting to help you. Notice as you thank the feeling(s) how the power shifts from your feelings having control over you to you being in control of how your feelings can help you.
Now it’s time to get curious about how your feeling(s) can help. As you don’t have a Freedom Fertility Formula Specialist to help you learn how to do this, I have listed a few questions you can ask yourself to help you get started with this.
  1. What feels important about these feelings showing up?
  2. Have your values been infringed upon in any way? If so how and what importance to they play in this situation?
  3. What benefits are you getting from this current situation?
  4. What are the risks with staying in this current situation?
  5. What are the benefits of taking new action?
  6. What are the risks in taking new action?
  7. If you could wave a magic wand and change what you are experiencing what would you be experiencing instead?
  8. What feelings do you have now as you imagine this new way of experiencing things?
  9. If there are elements to your current situation that you cannot change right now, how can you change how you feel about the situation instead?
  10. What actions do you want to take?
  11. What skills do you want to learn?
  12. Who can help you with this?
  13. If you were talking to yourself having taken these steps what would you tell yourself about what has changed and how you have achieved that change?
  14. What’s the first thing you’ll notice as you wake up in the morning? (When things have improved). Describe how this feels.
  15. How will you know something has changed?
Take a look at the action steps you have laid down and put them in order of easy to hard to achieve and plan out when you are going to Act. This is really important because it ias the taking Action part that sets the difficult feelings Free Sometimes this involves taking just one small step, other times the step is too vast and therefore you will want to break it down in to smaller manageable steps, starting with the easiest first step and working your way along.This will ensure that every step is manageable when you get to it.
I call these Success Steps.
By learning to use your emotions in this way you don’t have to Step up, you can simply keep Stepping forward in the best way at the right pace for you. So don’t feel pressured to Step up right now, instead just keep taking the next best step forward that feels right for you. If you'd like support with doing this come and share how you are getting on with the 4A Process on our fabulous growing Facebook Community of others who are struggling to conceive and Freedom Fertility Formula Specialists.The more you share the more we can help you.You can join this free FB Community by clicking on the link below. Other benefits of joining our group is that my team of Freedom Fertility Formula Specialists and I are there to support you and you will also find an abundance of FREE resources. All of which are immediately available from within the group. No-one should be alone on their fertility journey ever, least of all now in these difficult times. My Freedom Fertility Formula Specialists and I are keen to help as many people as we can, so if what I have been sharing has resonated with you, click on the link below and join us now. I very much look forward to welcoming you into our community.“Stay Safe, Stay Strong, Stay Connected.’
Dany Griffiths


If you would like to find out if working with Fertility Clients is right for you. Check out my Free Online Introductory Workshop for Becoming a Freedom Fertility FormulaTM Specialist.

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